Why Do We Hold to Painful Emotions?

Isn't that a big question of existence? Honestly, why do we truly hold to painful emotions?


If we all know that anger, sadness and depression is not good for us, why do we still hold on to it? Why we cannot let go?


Can it be that we are not really sure how to do it?


Queen, have you ever even thought about these questions?


The question within questions.


To be honest, I do not think I have seen any blog post with so many questions popping from the start. But isn't that how most of us feel in our minds?


We constantly question.


And usually the one question just leads to another. We really like creating questions. Yet, not that much answering them. Particularly, if those questions includes subjects such as pain.



Sarcastically, most of the time, we are quite sure how to let the pain go.


There are, of course, some people that might lack knowledge of methods, and variations of these methods can truly be endless.


Yet, most often we all know how to let go – we just need to let go.


In fact, there is nothing magical about it, we just need not to let our anger, stress or sadness flourish, and at the same time - to shift our focus to other activities.


Notice here that I am not saying that you should run from emotions and do something else. I am saying "accept and do something else". That's a big difference.


Yet, often we still choose to be with our pain. Why do we choose to torture ourselves in this battle?



We actually hold to hate or any other "beneficial" emotion and feelings, cause true letting go means true acceptance. True letting go is the face-to-face meeting with your real pain.


When you truly let go, all you have left is that pure pain. The deepest one that caused it all.


You see, every unbeneficial emotion holds pain underneath. So, we are afraid to let it go, we are afraid to feel the full pain, even though we are already in pain. Doesn't that sound quite like ... a protection mechanism?


Well, that is how our precious brain works. Our brain’s main purpose is to protect us from stress. It tries to save us, so every time it feels unsafe – it turns on the alarm, making you avoid the activity you are participating in.

Even if you are already in pain, it tries to protect you from pain. And the best way to do this is, of course, include you in the endless circle of suppression. However, all suppression ALWAYS grows into bigger pain.


So, while we try to avoid the pain, we actually escalate it into the long run pain.


In other words, we get the same what we might have gotten from letting the pain go. And most often - even more.


We get more chronic pain, because the length of the holding period can truly extend becoming suprisingly drastic.



For example, I know a woman, who still hates her husband. They have been divorced 27 years ago.


27 years of holding chronic pain. How do you think that influence the body?


It is crazy, how much we can actually hold. But we keep holding.

We hold it, because we believe it will protect us. Our brain believes so too. Our all body gives us signals what to do, no surprise that the whole process of letting go becomes uneasy for us.

Yet, we need to fully evaluate our long run pain.


We need to invest in our long run health, love and respect. Respect for ourselves not to hold pain.


Cause it neither helps us, neither our bodies, neither anyone else.


I know, letting go is absolutely painful. I dress it up in sparkles for you.


Feeling all of your emotions at once is more than hurtful.


Yet, at the same time it is releasing.




It is a new rebirth that needs to happen for you to grow and explore.


Without that nothing will really change. Without that the growth will be not yours, but your pain’s.


Choose whom you want to grow into. Don't grow into pain.


#selfgrowth #lettinggo #womensblog #whyweholdtopain #howtogetridofpain #deeptalks




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